Me too!
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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