Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
