Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
