I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
