i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
