ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
