I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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