just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i dont even know how to be here
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
