I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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