Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
