i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
