I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
