butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
