i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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