I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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