I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
What changed your mind?
Being sober
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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