Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
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