Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
