I hate all girls vehemently.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
