i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
