Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
