im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
