I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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