So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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