everyone is single if you try hard enough
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Your penis caused this!
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize