Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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