I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
