i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
zippers are such a cool invention
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
All the doctor said was why
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize