so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
