I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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