i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
