My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Randomize
