I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
