wanna go halves on a baby?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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