That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
