I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
