What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
