the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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