My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
why do cheetos always look like penises
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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