we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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