So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
