franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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