**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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