i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
