if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
