why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
