i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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