i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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