remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
