Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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