Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize