The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
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