You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
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