So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
