mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
