peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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