hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
