Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Two words: nipple clamps
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