Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
PANTIES FOUND
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