JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
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