There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
please come you make the beer taste better
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
